Annette Whittenberger is MilSpouse Transitions’ Divorce Educator and Advocate. When it comes to navigating divorce as a military spouse, you need more than checklists and court jargon—you need someone who gets it. Annette brings not only lived experience but a deep commitment to helping other spouses feel seen and supported through one of the most isolating transitions in military life. She’s not here to offer one-size-fits-all advice. She’s here to speak truth, hold space, and help you understand what’s really possible when your life takes a turn you didn’t see coming.
In her own words, here’s why she shows up for this work:
Annette’s Story
I never thought this would be my story. I’m sure you’ve felt that way too.
I’ve worn the uniform and retired as a veteran servicemember after 17 years. I’ve deployed. I’ve held families’ hands through the worst news imaginable. I’ve stood tall for others when they were falling apart. After decades of serving—both in and out of uniform—I thought I had endured the hardest parts of life. But nothing prepared me for the storm that came with my divorce. It wasn’t just the end of a marriage. It was the unraveling of an identity I had spent years holding together—for my family, for my community, for myself.
From the outside, my marriage looked strong even as we approached 28 years together. But behind closed doors, the cracks had been forming for a long time. And when the moment came, when the realization that my marriage was over and the divorce became real, I experienced a journey that I was not prepared for. My divorce decree was signed by a judge, without my consent, and I realized just how broken the system really is.
Despite being a veteran myself, I was dismissed. Despite serving, raising children, moving for his career, and sacrificing my ambitions, I was told I wasn’t entitled to fairness. My law firm failed me. The judge didn’t protect me. And the silence around military spouse rights in the legal system was deafening.
I was sitting in my car one day, completely shattered, asking myself:
“Is this really happening to me? After everything I’ve done, given, built… how did it come to this?”
And that was the moment something shifted.
Because while I was hurting, I knew—I wasn’t alone.
Speaking Up for Military Spouses Going Through Divorce
There are so many military spouses who have gone through something similar… but no one talks about it. We’re taught to stay quiet, be resilient, and move on. But I can’t be quiet anymore. I won’t.
That’s why working alongside MilSpouse Transition and sharing with other military spouses all the research, conversations, information, and support resources that I’ve found during my divorce process matters so deeply to me.
This isn’t just a job or a project—it’s personal.
Because I’ve lived the transition out of active duty military life more than once. Once I left as a veteran servicemember, and now I’ve left it a second time as a former spouse.
I know what it feels like to lose your sense of self.
To grieve the life you thought you were building.
To question your worth when systems fail to see you.
My education and advocacy work with MilSpouse Transition is about helping military spouses reclaim who they are—to rewrite their stories, build new dreams, and be empowered to advocate for themselves, no matter what stage of life or transition they’re in.
Our team understands the power of community. And together, we’re creating a space where spouses don’t have to walk through a military divorce alone.
This is my mission now: To use my pain and my platform to amplify the voices of those who feel invisible. To be a mirror for others—to show them they are not broken, they are not weak, and they are not alone. Because this isn’t just about me.
It’s about us.
Our stories.
Our healing.
Our future.
