Eating Disorders in the Military Spouse Community with Leah Stiles

Eating disorders or disordered eating in our military community is a conversation that isn’t always easy to have, but it’s absolutely necessary. This is a very real, very lived experience for spouses, service members, and veterans.

Times of high stress, such as the stress of transition, the constant moves, the shifting identities, and the weight of holding it all together, don’t just disappear. Sometimes, they show up in our bodies—in the form of restriction, control, or even shame around food.

This episode is about breaking that silence. It’s about shining a light on what too often stays hidden, and offering resources, hope, and understanding.

Our guest today is Leah Stiles, founder and CEO of Sea Waves, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting military families dealing with eating disorders, disordered eating, and body dysmorphia. Leah brings not just professional expertise, but lived experience from her own 20-year Navy career.

So, if you’ve ever felt alone in this struggle—or if you want to better understand what someone you love might be going through, this conversation is for you.

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Meet our Guest

Leah Stiles, Founder/CEO Sea Waves, Inc.

Leah Stiles is the founder of Sea Waves, a nonprofit organization dedicated to advocating for, educating, and supporting active duty service members, veterans, and their families who are dealing with disordered eating, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia.

With twenty years of service and retiring as a Navy Senior Chief, she developed a strong commitment to supporting the well-being of her fellow service members. Having personally navigated the challenges of eating disorders during her service, she recognized the critical need for specialized support.

Through Sea Waves, Leah is dedicated to offering crucial support and resources for prevention, recovery, and resilience. She strives to be a lighthouse, shining light on this often-taboo issue and guiding others who may be in the dark or weathering their own storms.

In cooperation with Sea Waves, we have created a download of 30 Non-Body Compliment Cards that you can print out and share with those you love.

Because real love, care, and concern goes much deeper than how someone looks.

The Conversation Topics

Leah’s personal journey: diagnosed with an eating disorder at age 11, living with it throughout her military career, and recognizing the lack of accessible resources.
The difference between disordered eating, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia.
Common patterns of eating disorders in the military community, including discipline, perfectionism, and orthorexia.
Early signs and hidden indicators of eating disorders—and why appearance is not a reliable measure.
The six main eating disorders and the challenges of diagnosis.
What eating disorders do not look like and breaking stereotypes.
The danger of body-based compliments and why shifting to non-body affirmations matters.
The internal experience of denial, secrecy, and the feeling of never being “sick enough.”
How transition and high-stress periods in military life increase risk, with eating disorders often used as coping mechanisms.
The connection between eating disorders and suicide risk, especially during transition points like PCS, deployment, or retirement.
Advice for spouses, leaders, or friends on how to approach a loved one with concern, using “I” statements and focusing on what they deserve.
The mission and work of Sea Waves, the only veteran service organization dedicated to eating disorders.

Things We Talked About in This Episode

One of the most important resources for anyone with questions, concerns, in crisis, or needing support is the Crisis Text Line. This text line is eating disorder informed – meaning that they are trained to support individuals needing help in this area.

Text WAVES to 741741 for confidential, eating-disorder-informed support.

Pick up this book! As a resource share, Leah recommends the book: Sick Enough by Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani.

“In Sick Enough, world renowned physician Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani has filled a glaring gap in the eating disorder literature by providing patients and families with easy-to-understand information, helping them navigate the medical issues involved in an eating disorder. Owning Sick Enough is like having Dr. Gaudiani in your living room for a chat, thus it is one of the most important eating disorder books that patients, families and even healthcare providers can buy.”

— Carolyn Costin M.A. M.ED. MFT, Founder/Director of The Carolyn Costin Institute; Author of 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder