All military spouses have an origin story. Stop for just a minute and consider yours. If it’s like most military spouses, your stories are deeply intertwined with the journey your servicemember is taking. Those first few years, our footsteps followed theirs. Sometimes halting. Sometimes winding around in a jumble of chaos and confusion. Sometimes deep imprints are left from stomping in frustration and anger.
But there is a distinct path that belongs to you. And for most military spouses, our goal is to eventually see those footsteps matching our servicemember’s side by side—as we walk alongside, still supporting the mission, but writing our own story.
What does your origin story look like?
My Story
When I met my servicemember, he had completed nearly a decade of active-duty service in the Army, had transitioned out from both the service (and a first marriage), and was joining the National Guard. I quickly figured out that his “camping weekends,” as I called them, meant much more to him than just a weekend getaway with Army friends. Military life called to him. He loved the discipline, the camaraderie, the work, the structure, and so much more. I could see he missed being a full-time contributor to the bigger mission.
That led to him moving from the National Guard, changing jobs, getting his degree, resigning a commission, getting placed into the Army Reserves, and ultimately being activated into the full-time Army. If you ask him the story, you’ll hear more or less the same thing—but with official verbiage and more acronyms.
More often than not, I stop there. That’s the story behind how I ended up moving eight times, what shaped my career options, why I have the friends I have, and the foundation for the next two decades of my life and all my adventures.
But this is my story, right? And while it’s my story, there’s not a single reference to what I was doing while my partner worked his way back into active duty.
You see, the catalyst in a military spouse’s story is often initiated by a choice someone else gets to make.
After I added the word “military” to my spouse name tag, it came with an immediate move. It didn’t matter that I was six months into a high-risk pregnancy. We moved 1,500 miles to the middle of the desert. I left my career in marketing and program management to carve out something related—but not quite the same—in a remote work capacity for the same company.
There were the dreamy moments. I packed our household and thought of what life was going to be like based on what I knew from watching the Lifetime drama series Army Wives.
You know that saying, “You knew what you were signing up for?” I didn’t have a clue what I was signing up for. Yes, I was naive. But in hindsight, that wide-eyed optimism was what I needed to embrace what was coming. And what came taught me to blend my dreams with the chaos and culture of military life to create a beautiful story.
Your Story Deserves to Be Told
I don’t know where you are in your story right now. You might be early in your military spouse journey—figuring out housing, awkwardly navigating your first deployment, or realizing that yes, “PCS season” is a real thing and not just a meme.
Or maybe you’re farther down the path—holding it all together through months of loneliness, raising kids solo during deployments, starting and stopping careers, or making another cross-country move with just enough time to join that next duty station’s Facebook page.
Or maybe—just maybe—you’re standing on the edge of transition, where military life is beginning to fade and civilian life is peeking around the corner, and you’re trying to figure out who you are outside of all this.
Wherever you are, I want you to know: your story counts. It is layered, it is powerful, and it’s absolutely worthy of being told.
It Isn’t Just About Sacrifice
We spend a lot of time honoring the ways military spouses sacrifice—and yes, there’s truth in that. But this year, on Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I want you to also honor your strength, your growth, your joy, and your ambition outside of the military spouse title you hold.
Your origin story might have started when you said “I do” to a servicemember—but the chapters that follow? Those are yours to write. And if you’re anything like most of the spouses I know, you’ve already written some incredible ones.
You’ve pivoted careers to make life work. You’ve created home after home out of cardboard boxes and blow up mattresses. You’ve advocated, launched businesses, finished degrees, and volunteered your way into leadership roles without a job title to match. You’ve shown up for your family, your community, and yourself—sometimes all at once, sometimes not. And that’s okay too.
This Year, Reflect and Own It
So here’s my ask: take a moment today and reflect on your military spouse origin story. Not just where it began, but how it’s evolved. Write it down. Share it with someone. Speak it out loud. Because when we name our story, we give ourselves permission to keep shaping it.
You’re doing so much more than you realize—and your story is just getting good.
Written in Celebration of Military Spouses on MilSpouse Appreciation Day!
