If you’ve ever been told, “You’re so good at that!” and brushed it off like it was no big deal, you’re not alone. Most of us have something we do naturally without thinking, without effort, that we never fully name or claim. That’s where the idea of strengths comes in.
As a Gallup® Certified Coach, let’s start with the official CliftonStrengths® version.
CliftonStrengths: What It Means to Lead With Talents
According to CliftonStrengths® (formerly StrengthsFinder), strengths are the natural patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior that, when developed, help you consistently perform at your best.
There are 34 total strengths divided between 4 domains. I don’t want to get too deep and make it confusing, but know that all of us have all 34 strengths. However, there are some that simply come more naturally than others.
Sounds pretty awesome, right? And it is. You see, when you focus on the things you are doing well, you feel happier, more energized, and more motivated.
So how do you know what your strengths are?
To identify what those strengths are, I recommend you take the CliftonStrengths assessment. There are two options. One assessment helps people identify their top 5 strengths (also called talents) and the other ranks all 34. Both are the starting point for understanding not what you do, but how you do it so well.
Talents (strengths) are not labels or job titles. They’re dynamic traits. My top 5 strengths are Strategic, Achiever, Consistency, Activator, and Developer. These describe the ways I show up in the world, process information, connect with others, and move forward. When I lean into these talents and intentionally apply them, they become strengths.
So why does this matter, especially during a big life transition?
Because strengths give you language, confidence, and direction. And that is everything when your identity feels like it’s shifting.
How I Use Strengths With Military Spouses
I work with military spouses who are transitioning out of active duty life—those big seasons of “Who am I now?” and “What comes next?” Through workshops, coaching, and conversation, I help spouses tap into their strengths in five areas of wellbeing.
| Area of Wellbeing | Definition |
| Financial Wellbeing | Managing your money well to reduce stress and increase security |
| Career Wellbeing | Liking what you do each day and being motivated to achieve your goals |
| Physical Wellbeing | Having good health and enough energy to get things done daily |
| Social Wellbeing | Having supportive relationships and love in your life |
| Community Wellbeing | Liking where you live, feeling safe, and having pride in your community |
When we think in terms of these five areas of wellbeing, we can use strengths as a foundation for financial readiness, transition success, career alignment, personal wellbeing, relationships, knowing where we’ll thrive, and clarity of purpose.
When speaking with military spouses I don’t start with job titles or resumes—instead, we explore what’s already working. We NAME the strengths, CLAIM the strengths, then AIM the strengths. I’ve seen strengths help spouses:
- Renew their purpose after years of putting themselves last
- See their unpaid roles through a new lens of value
- Navigate transition without losing their sense of identity
- Align career goals with who they really are
- Feel more confident in their relationships
…and so much more. In one recent workshop, I asked spouses to reflect on a time they felt proud—not because they were praised, but because they knew deep down that they had done something well.
One spouse talked about how she’d organized her family’s overseas move with military precision, keeping everyone on track and still somehow supporting a best friend through postpartum depression. She had never seen herself as a “leader.” But in that moment, we were able to name the strengths she used—Arranger, Responsibility, Empathy, and Harmony—and suddenly, her story changed. Her strengths were not soft skills. They were powerful tools.
What If You Haven’t Taken the Assessment?
Here’s the thing: You don’t need a report to know who you are.
If you haven’t taken the CliftonStrengths assessment (or aren’t ready to), you can still begin identifying your natural talents. Here’s how:
1. Notice What Energizes You
Think about what gives you energy instead of draining it. Is it brainstorming ideas? Organizing chaos? Helping a friend through a crisis? Your joy is often a clue to your natural talents.
2. Pay Attention to Compliments You Dismiss
If people repeatedly say, “You always know the right thing to say” or “You’re so good at getting people to take action,” that’s not random. It’s a pattern. Don’t wave it away—write it down.
3. Look at What You Do Without Being Asked
Whether it’s planning events, solving tech issues, mentoring others, or making people feel welcome—these instincts point to how you naturally operate when no one’s watching.
4. Reflect on Childhood Clues
Sometimes the things we were drawn to as kids (organizing, storytelling, helping, leading) were early signs of strengths we’ve carried all along.
5. Ask Someone Who Knows You Well
A trusted friend, partner, or coworker can often name your strengths faster than you can. Ask, “What do you think I do really well, even when I don’t notice it?”
Why Strengths Matter During Transition
Military transition is one of those life seasons that shakes up everything at once—career paths, financial stability, identity, community, and even relationships. It can leave you second-guessing everything you thought you knew about yourself.
And what you know about yourself is not “common” or “normal” or “just like everyone else.” Gallup® tells us that your strengths are so unique that finding someone with the same top 5 in the same order is one in thirty-three million. That’s how special you are.
And, that’s why starting with strengths can be such a powerful move.
Instead of asking, “What job should I do?” you begin with, “What do I already do well, and how can I bring more of that into my life?” Whether you’re returning to the workforce, starting something new, or trying to figure out how to balance your own goals with your family’s needs, your strengths can help you filter the chaos out and make things feel more clear.
One of the biggest mindset shifts I encourage is this: You’re not starting over—you’re starting from strength.
That shift matters. Especially when your resume has gaps or your LinkedIn doesn’t reflect the full scope of who you’ve been behind the scenes. Strengths remind you that you’ve always had value. You’ve just been using it in spaces that didn’t come with a paycheck or a title.
You’re Already Stronger Than You Think
Whether you’ve taken the CliftonStrengths assessment or not, your strengths are there—waiting to be recognized, named, and used. They’re not about perfection. They’re about alignment. They help you work with who you are instead of constantly trying to become someone else.
Especially in seasons of transition, when everything else feels up in the air, starting with your strengths can anchor you.. You already have what it takes. You just need to see it.
Want to dig deeper into your strengths or bring a strengths-based workshop to your military spouse group or organization? Send me a message and let’s talk.
